06 Dec The epidemic of loneliness
Way before this whole “pandemic” shituation began back in March, we were already struggling with an epidemic of loneliness, well in advance, for years. And for a long time, I feel like loneliness in our culture has only gotten worse as a result of all of the societal / civilizational trends towards hyper individualism, the internet, screen addiction, social media, the disposability of relationships, the rates of divorce and workaholism.
Well in advance of the “pandemic”, as in years ago, I realized just how many of my clients – both cuddling clients back when I did that, and tantric bodywork clients – were really struggling with loneliness. And I think that this is one of the reasons why I was guided to do this work, because I deeply deeply relate with and understand loneliness and its accompanying sensations of depression and sadness on a physiological level.
I’ve been struggling with loneliness and isolation most of my life and have always been a “lone wolf” – so I really get it.
This has been a really hard year, a really devastating year for many of us on a lot of different levels. But especially now, as we are in another “lockdown” and struggling with feeling more isolated and alone and disconnected and socio-politically divided from each other than ever before….
This has been a particularly devastating year for me personally. I went through an absolutely traumatizing break-up with my ex-boyfriend back in July. He was the person that I thought I was going to grow old with. Well, I was delusional! Longstoryshort, our relationship ended in July in a catastrophic meltdown and I have been on a deep healing journey the last 5 months, going through unbelievable depths of grief, sadness, depression, severely negative thoughts and loneliness – the likes of which I have never experienced before in my entire life. This relationship break-up really broke me. My dear friend and mentor Rashani called it the “sacred shattering” – and that is indeed what has happened. I have been shattered in the most painful and transformational way, and I can only pray that this shattering is pivotal on my personal healing and self-actualization journey.
And I have to tell you that over the last several months, it has been so helpful, so instrumental in my personal healing journey to be able to work with all of you – my wonderful clients. For the last several months, almost all of my human to human interactions, touch interactions, hugs, and any form of physical closeness have been with my clients. There have been days when the only person I get to interact with in person and hug all day is one of my clients, and I have been so grateful that I get to do this work and that I get to touch people for a living, because it has absolutely kept my mental sanity at times during this devastation. It has become really meaningful to know that this person is the only person that I get to touch today, and that makes each session more precious.
Because for me, as a person whose #1 Love Language is physical touch, losing that connection of physical touch and sensual nourishment with my ex-boyfriend has had me all but completely lose my mind. And so each one of you that I have been given the gift of touching has kept me sane, during this incredibly sad and lonely time.
And I know that there are those of you out there whose ONLY physical touch experiences over the last few months have been with a sacred intimacy provider. I know that there are those of you out there that haven’t had any physical touch, hugs or closeness for months. That’s not natural! I know that there are those of you out there who have been struggling with loneliness, after a devastating divorce or a break-up or just moving here recently and don’t know anybody or you’re single and dating is really hard, ESPECIALLY NOW.
These are hard times! And it’s not just this unbelievable “pandemic” – we are going through it in our intimate relationships. I have heard so many shocking and devastatingly painful stories of loss and loneliness this year.
I just want you to know that you are not alone! That we are in this wave of isolation and loneliness together. If you are struggling with your needs not getting met, just know that you are not alone. If you are struggling with depression, just know that you are not alone. If you are struggling with feeling isolated this year more than ever before, just know that you are not alone. We are in this together.
Touch is a real need. I need physical touch, just as much as you do. Touch and physical closeness and the sensuality of physical sensation on our skin is medicine – it helps regulate and soothe our anxiety, and has been scientifically shown to help strengthen the immune system. We need relaxation, physical connection, closeness and physical pleasure on a deep level.
I am more than happy to touch you. I am more than happy to hold you, cuddle with you. Relax with you in my arms. Give bodywork to you. And bring pleasure, relaxation and blissful nourishment to your nervous system.
I stand in opposition to this pandemic of fear, social anxiety and paranoia. I am here to stand for physical closeness and physical touch. I am here to validate and support your need in the best way that I can.
Sending a long distance hug to you all.